|
  The Day Everything Changed in Room 116
Tommy Belstark was one of those kids who could never seem to catch a break. He did his homework, studied for exams, paid attention in class, and was loved by almost every teacher in school. That wasn't the problem, though. The problem was that almost every other kid in class picked on him. Tommy didn't care too much about it, though. He and his friend Francis, who also got teased a lot, had gotten used to it after awhile. Sure the other kids said some very mean things, but none of it was actually true, so why listen to it?
While he could ignore the teasers, Tommy had a real fear
|
The structure of this piece is easy to read, a good effort as I see your target audience was 3-10 years of age. Also bless you for using correct grammar and punctuation through - out the entire piece, it's always a shame to see a good idea ruined because the author cannot spell.
I would love very much to find out what Francis, Tommy and Scott get up to next.
Keep writing